I remember having a conversation about suicide and it went something like, “people who talk about wanting to commit suicide, just want some attention. And that if they really wanted to do it, they would just do it”.
And for years that’s how I looked at suicide. I always felt like suicide was looked at like a show of sorts. The times that I felt suicidal, I didn’t even bother tell anyone until after the feeling passed. Simply because of that.
When I was younger, I never thought that depression and anxiety were enough to make someone want to end their own life. I know better now though.
Depression, anxiety, mourning/grief, feeling inadequate, financial troubles, relationship troubles, etc are all on the list of things that’ll make you want to end it all, when you can’t see a way out of the fog.
And at this point in my life, I can honestly say, I understand why people commit suicide. I’m tired of crying about the same shit over and over, feeling inadequate, feeling like every time something goes right 30 other things go wrong, feeling like I don’t have any help, feeling like every decision I make is the wrong one, and feeling like I’m just going through the motions.
Now, before y’all start calling and texting me, I’m not saying that I want to commit suicide, I’m simply saying that I’m starting to understand why some people do.
That said, if you are having suicidal thoughts, please talk to someone! Contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK. Your life matters.
Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
R.I.H. to all who felt the pain was too much to bear.