You can really kiss my ass. I am sick and tired of of feeling like my accomplishments just aren't enough, and that I'm somehow not on the same level as everybody else. This thinking has caused me to take a super long break from you all, all because I was afraid of not being seen as perfect.
Welp, here I am. In all of my imperfections, wearing them proudly not only because they make me who I am. But also because I now know that I'm not the only person who feels like this.
I've lost sight of things along the way and I have so many things I want to accomplish for myself. I've been blaming my "shortcomings" on my physical surroundings, but I just came to the realization that my mental and emotional states have really been to blame. I've gotten into my own head. I wrote an entire blog post about negative self-talk, about how to cope and all that, yet here I am. How ridiculous is that? Lol. I know better. Clearly, the hardest advice to take is my own.
Now that I've recognized the problem, I can start going about things differently. Because this right here just ain't it at all. I need to learn to love myself again, and to celebrate even the smallest of victories, and failures. I think we all get too down on ourselves, as I previously stated, and we forget that our failures shape who we are, just as much, if not more, than our victories do. These failures could be the very reason some of us haven't gone completely crazy! These failures could've kept us from things that we thought we needed, but really didn't. I sit here typing this, thanking God for things he's kept from me, and even the things I've walked away from. Because in due time, I know FOR SURE that what is truly meant for me, will be mine soon enough.
I also think I could stand to practice spending more time alone to help get more in tune with my mental and emotional self. The goal being to learn to admire people for who and what they are, without comparison. The only comparisons I plan to make are myself to myself. Tracking my own progress, and moving in ways that are conducive to me. Truly thinking: will all of this matter in 10 days, 10 weeks, or 10 months? Can't continue to worry about the things that I have no control over.
Now that I got that out, I feel better. Sorry if this was a long read, but hopefully it helped you as it has helped me.
"Perfectionism is not a quest for the best. It is a pursuit of the worst in ourselves, the part that tells us that nothing we do will ever be good enough, that we should try again."-Julia Camero
-Your Urban Black Girl