• Urban Black Girl

Black Men Vs. Black Women: Where is the Love?

So, I have seen a lot of Black men bringing down Black women. As a black woman, I don't think anything disgusts me more. What's really going on? Is it some deep down self-hate resonating? Is it hatred for the mother figure? Or is it just a preference gone wrong? Either way I think that it's foolishness.

Earlier this year, I had a Black man tell me that I was pretty, but that he wouldn't date me because I'm Black: as if I was interested in him in the FIRST place. Mind you, I only had a conversation with this guy because he was taking my order at Buona Beef lol. Completely unwarranted and unnecessary. Now, apart of me was ready to curse him out, but I took this high road and took my lunch order and left. Had I cursed him out for his stupid comment, I would have reinforced the opinions he's already formed against Black women. (Look at that y'all, that's growth! Lol.)

I've seen shared posts on Twitter and on Facebook, of men with the same opinions of the unfortunate Buona Beef employee I encountered. As a Black man, if Black women are not your preference, that is perfectly fine. Date who you want to date! The issue comes into play when you feel the need to put Black women down as a result of it because of our skin, hair, dispositions, etc. In the Black community there has always been a difference between how mothers raise their children. Most Black male children are loved, while Black female children are raised. Black girls are raised to be independent, our entire lives, yet our men were loved and nurtured and taught to be dependent on their mothers/grandmothers. Herein lies the issue and the reasoning why Black women are viewed as too headstrong and too independent. Yet, a Black woman will likely be the FIRST person to defend a Black man against the world, right or wrong.

If there are deeper issues, aside from preference, that deter a Black man from dating a Black woman then I say some counseling needs to take place. One of the main reasons choose who they dat is because of similarities: in up-bringing, experiences, and interests. Simply put, most people date people who look like them. It takes a brave soul to date someone who doesn't, especially in the society we're currently living in when racial tensions are back on the rise.

As a Black woman who loves and supports Black men, it saddens and disappoints me to hear Black men drag the crap out of Black women when we're supposed to be partners in all this. And what about your mothers, grandmothers, aunts, nieces, and daughters? Are they not good enough either?

We have to do better y'all. And this isn't just about the fellas, ladies we need to do better too.

-Your UrbanBlackGirl

#BlackWomen #UrbanBlackGirl #SelfHelp #Relationships

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