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Being a Black Woman in America, Revamped

In 2017, I wrote about how being a Black woman in America was exhausting. It's sad to say that not much has changed in the world since then.

As a Black woman, we already have 2 "strikes" against us: being Black and being female. It's bullshit, yes, but that's the reality of things here. That's why I am, and will continue to be an advocate for us.


We are hardly ever given our just due.



Not only will they not mention our names in life, they won't even mention them in our death. And if they do, it's for like 2 seconds with a weird undertone like they care but really don't.


Well I care. And Black women will always have a voice, where and whenever I speak.


Rest In Sweet Peace...

Breonna Taylor

Natasha McKenna

Sandra Bland

Atatiana Jefferson

Michelle Cusseaux

Aura Rosser

Janisha Fonville

Gabriella Nevarez

Tanisha Anderson


And a host of others whose live and stories will probably never make it the national, or even local news.


Black women, whose lives MATTERED. They were daughters, mothers, aunties, nieces, cousins and friends. But most importantly, they were somebody! #SayHerName and #BlackLivesMatter should never be an afterthought. Too much has happened. It should be at the forefront of our minds, each and everyday. Your name can literally be the next trending hashtag on Black Twitter. And it's depressing as hell. I know.


This is just another reason why I started this blog, so that our names will be spoken and read. And so that our young girls will see our crowns, and know that they too have crowns.


And on top of all that, Black men have the audacity, to fix their mouths to talk down on us. As if we aren't the only ones who've stood in front of, behind and next to them for generations. Protecting them, helping them, building them and guiding them through...literally everything. Now before I get attacked, no, it is not all Black men are ignorant when it comes to us. There are quite a few Black men who get it and #ProtectBlackWomen, but there aren't nearly enough.


Black men, if you are reading this, this is a call to action:


STOP TOLERATING THE BULLSHIT YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY DO TO BLACK WOMEN.


IF THEY ARE WRONG, CALL THEM OUT! PERIOD. THE END.


Being Black is exhausting, but add being a woman to that is just downright stressful at best. But I wouldn't change who I am for anything. Because honestly, truly, we are gorgeous as hell! Going on 30 looking 19 and what not, while our counterparts the same age around here looking like spoiled and curdled milk.


I know I've hit a variety of topics in this one post, but they are all important and pretty much go hand in hand. Black womanhood encompasses a lot, so it's only right.


Dearest Urban Black Girls,


I am you, and you are me. And we have a responsibility to one another. I am sorry to every Black girl (and her loved ones) who was murdered at the hands of the police. I am sorry to every Black girl that was raped, sexually assaulted or molested. I am sorry to every Black girl who was ever called aggressive when she was really just being assertive, I am sorry to every Black girl who was told her hair and nails were inappropriate for work or school. I am sorry to every Black girl that felt her name was too long, too "ghetto", or just too damn Black to fit in. I am sorry to every Black girl that had to work twice as hard just to get half of what "they" got. I am sorry to every Black girl that has to raise a child on her own. I am sorry to every Black girl whose dark skin made her the subject of cruel jokes. I am sorry to every Black girl who's had to fight against "them" in the workplace.


I am sorry. I am sorry. I am so sorry. I am so sorry you had to go through that. That we had to go through that. That some of us are still going through that.


This may not be the apology you were looking for, but this may be the only apology you ever get.


With love always,


Your Urban Black Girl

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